the art of bragging.

Adj. 1.

bragging

exhibiting self-importance; “big talk”

proud – feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride; “proud parents”; “proud of his accomplishments”; “a proud moment”; “proud to serve his country”; “a proud name”; “proud princes”

We all know the people in our lives who fit this description. The ones who must let you know that no matter what you have done, are doing or own- they have done, can do and own it bigger and better than you.

“How great that you got a gold watch for your 10 year anniversary at your job…have you seen my Rolex?”

You know who they are.

Yes, we know no one is as rich and amazing as you.

I’m not talking about being exciting for something excellent happening in ones life (I’m excited for you too!), I’m talking about the serial braggers..the ones who do with every word in their vernacular.

The funny thing about braggers is that they don’t realize how transparent their words are to the rest of the world. Their insecurities are so BOLD and obvious they might as well have a neon sign around their neck. I’m not writing about anything recently, mind you, I’m just remembering fondly all the laughs I have had on behalf of the braggers in my life. There is the family member or boss who will click their car alarm- just so you will be drawn to their new car. Then there’s the name-brand-freak-friend who will comment on everything- just so that the conversation points back to the fact that “they don’t know because they only wear X brand or dine at X restaurant” (fill in the X with any designer clothing or fancy establishment label you like). I have some people in my life that will only contact me if there is something completely random and unnecessary to brag about, and then end the conversation before I even have time to comment on; how many designer bags or pieces of jewelry they own, accomplishments of family members, money they (or their spouse) make(s), parties they attended, trips they took, etc. The list goes on and on- and NOTHING surprises me at this point in my life, as I have heard it all. The best part is that most of the time the bragger is full of shit. Part of their story might be true, but all in all its a complete fabrication of the reality. If the “brag” is true- you have to question why they feel the need to try and make others around them less? My mother and I actually made a game out of it to “count” the brags (silently, of course) when in the presence of a bragger. It’s very fun and makes you almost encourage the behavior. Oops…did I just admit that one?

Note to braggers reading this: We are not jealous of you, we are laughing at you. We like you as a person- and no matter how many things or stories you have- IT WILL NOT MAKE ME LIKE YOU MORE. Be yourself, it’s actually kinda worthwhile in and of itself.

It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.

~Niccolo Machiavelli

SNL mocks it best with their series of skits and sometime digital shorts. I embrace this one by Andy Samberg. Love me some Samberg, as he couldn’t have expressed it better:

That is the end of my rant. Hope it gave you a laugh- or a nice reflection. If you have a funnier story than this- please read this again and pretend I am talking about you, as you are doing it again. 🙂