if only it were this easy.
if only it were this easy.

I have never been a great sleeper.  Even when blessed with mono through high school and into college, I wasn’t a great sleeper.  If I nap, I wake up groggy- and can’t seem to get out of the dazed state.  If I am woken suddenly, then I am in a horrible mood (and might just let you know how much noise you are making through the old fashion way of yelling at you). I’m a light sleeper, so if even the smallest noise should grace my ears- I’m up.  When I wake up, I can NEVER fall back asleep right away, unless medicated. In college, I had a phase where I would fall asleep anytime and anywhere- this includes the following places: while in the front row of a lecture of a CEO from a major NYC ad agency, while studying in the library, during class, sitting straight up (while watching a movie), come to think of it- I fell asleep during every movie I ever tried to watch back then.

Funny story: The first time I saw Braveheart, my college friend Brandon was CONVINCED I was going to watch a movie, without falling asleep.  I was sitting on the floor and he was in his bed, an arms reach away.  Every time I would start to doze off, he would WHACK the top of my head and yell “WAKE UP, SCHMIDT!” Abusive? Perhaps. Effective? Definitely.  End result?  I have seen Braveheart. Thanks, Brandon.

it's all for nothing if you don't have freedom, err, and sleep.
it’s all for nothing if you don’t have freedom, err, and sleep.

I think too much, so my mind is never at rest.  I referenced my picky sleeping needs a while back, but needing the perfect comfort is only half my problem to a perfect sleep. Trust me, as annoying as it is to read this (I realize I sound high maintenance), it is more annoying to live through and experience personally.  I need the steady sound of my fan (even in sub zero temps outside), the perfect amount of blankets and my pillow just right: soft, but not flat, cold,  not rough to the touch and cushioned the back of my head into a perfect cup.  Good God, who the hell do I think I am?  It’s frustrating! 

Side note: before all you health nuts go crazy and judge my lifestyle (as I realize that affects sleep), know that I work out almost every day, do not drink coffee, and eat right (by whatever standards “eating right” are these days: no red meat, gluten free, organic, etc). I don’t eat sweets because I gave them up for lent (and slept this way even before giving them up), I haven’t been drinking since Brad gave up alcohol for lent (Okay, I have had some wine a couple of times, but a glass here and there does not make me an abuser of the stuff), and I go to bed reasonably early (8-9pm nightly). It’s probably stress related.  I digress.

Well, I have a new observation/frustration that I thought I would address: the snooze button. We’re all guilty of abusing it. We set our alarms for that perfect time, with our list of what we must accomplish in order to begin the day. However, come morning: birds chirping (don’t even get me started on nature sounds), cue soft music, and then it happens: the ALARM. Immediate response: snooze. You rest and relax as you realize you have more time to sleep, like finding a $20 in your ski parka, then just as your eyes shut again, ALARM. This process goes on and on for the next half-hour or so, completely debunking your original “get up and at ’em” plan from the previous evening. So I ask this: why not just set the alarm for when you know you will get up?  Why put yourself through the pain of the ups and downs of the snooze, alarm, snooze, alarm cycle?  The whole thing seems like torture to me. Then again, we are human and drama is in our nature.

I’m not going to name names, but a certain someone did it for a whole hour this morning. If he were not so damn cute, and if I wasn’t happy about the fact that he was staying in bed longer, I would have complained- or even yelled.

worst invention, indeed.
worst invention, indeed.

End result: an hour lost of sleep, is an hour of snuggling gained.  Either way, I’m smiling.

pet peeves.

It has come to my attention that I get irritated by things most people don’t notice. I decided to get it out on “paper” to see if anyone agrees, or can add to it. The following list are some of my pet peeves. I’ll only do 10:

1. Incorrect usage of ellipsis. I receive more emails, texts and messages that will read “okay…” or something of that nature with the damn ellipsis. If there is more to add, just say it, if not- just use a damn period! Here is a little definition for those of you who abuse those three most annoying little dots:

Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from the Ancient Greek: ἔλλειψις, élleipsis, “omission” or “falling short“) is a series of marks that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word, sentence or whole section from the original text being quoted. An ellipsis can also be used to indicate an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis), example: “But I thought he was . . .” When placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy or longing. The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech or any other form of text, but it is incorrect to use ellipses solely to indicate a pause in speech.

yes, please.

2. Open cabinet doors. I have no idea why this bothers the shit out of me, but it does. Maybe I have hit my head too many times on the open cabinet door above me- but on sight my skin crawls.

3. People who forget to say those simple words we learned as toddlers, “please” and “thank you.” To omit them from human vernacular is rude. A friend of mine once dated a girl who REFUSED to say “thank you.” At first, we thought she didn’t mean it- she’s just aloof and doesn’t realize it. Then it became a game to see if we could force her to say it. Nothing worked. I believe after their separation, a libation-induced text message was sent in an effort to make her aware. Outcome: her sense of entitlement was SO grandiose, that she didn’t have a clue what he was talking about because “why should she say thank you? she deserved it all.” Okay then, princess.

4. Uncomfortable sleeping conditions. Hey- I am the first to admit I am MILDLY unreasonable when it comes to this item. But fact of the matter is- I love my sleep. I think it stems from having mono all of high school and the beginning of college. I’m talking the basics here: clean sheets, fluffy pillows, enough blankets so that if I get cold I am in a cocoon- but I can take them off if I get hot. I am a light sleeper, so I need it DARK. I could go on and on with this one, but I’m gonna stop because I can feel my blood pressure boiling up even THINKING about it. haha.

sweet dreams? I wish.

5. People who break promises. Enough said.

6. People who lie.

7. People who treat others poorly, are inconsiderate, or judge others based on first impressions. (I kinda cheated on that one and shmushed three into one)

I asked my friend Maureen (pictured below) what her pet peeves are and she replied the following:

“My pet peeves? I strongly dislike it when people always have to be the hero. Come into a situation and heroically solve a problem or dramatically help out to be the center of attention and have everyone thank them just so they can feel good.”

look at that face. would you want to upset him?

8. The fact that I take everything personally. I HATE this quality about myself. It actually drives me insane. So, if you are a friend of mine and I take something personally and it irritates you- it irritates me more.


10. When someone is in a back and forth communication and they leave you hanging at the most sensitive point in the conversation. I realize that your boss just walked in the room, your child is screaming, your oven is on fire or the dog is trying to go outside, but do you really find it necessary to leave me hanging for 3 hours when I ask if you think I am retarded/shallow/a bitch?

I shall conclude with a more “upbeat” tone. Regardless if I have these peeves in my mind, currently I have never been happier in my life. I’m in love, have a great job that I LOVE (including all colleagues) and its the start of summer. Life is pretty freaking great right now, I must say…