I have some pretty interesting views on relationship statuses. I thought I would share, in case you ever questioned what stage you were in, and needed clarification. Keep in mind any one of these stages can be repeated- and they don’t necessarily fall in order. See if you agree with me…
“We have to understand where we have strategic relationships that require us to take a different approach. I guess the easiest way to describe it is: different strokes for different folks,” -Madeline Albright
Phase one is the “never been kissed” phase that usually happens early on in life (to start). It’s the first love, kiss, crush, sex stage we are always trying to get back to, as relationships mature. It’s the high drug users are always trying to get back to, as they ingest more and more of a controlled substance. Although this is a high in it’s purest form because it’s natural. It’s the butterflies in the stomach phase. Innocence still lives a warm and safe life in phase ones.
Phase 2ers are the people who have experienced the “firsts” and are now open to the idea of possibly shopping around a little bit for something new and different. They might still be in the relationship from phase 1, but they definitely don’t look the other direction if an attractive individual walks past… Innocence still lives here, but there is definitely a little devil sitting on your shoulder for a new way to experience love/lust/whatever.
The player. Phase 3ers have had the first relationship, they looked around, and decided to try a little bit of everything. They date, maybe have casual sex, and definitely are not even capable of settling down. They see the grass was greener on every side- and aim to play as much as they can until they have gone through every toy in the sandbox. There is no maturity, no trust, and a mass amount of selfishness.
The player might be a little tired of the sandbox, and has decided they want to start looking for the one that will break the games. Is maturity knocking on their door? Perhaps! Our player has started looking for something serious. Now, while we understand the intentions of Phase 4 to be sincere, they might still have a few irons in the fire. They might make 100 excuses as to why this one/that one didn’t work. Call it fear of commitment, call it being too picky- whatever you call it, it’s the same beast. We know in this phase that they are use to being single, but want something more.
This is your long-term relationship phase. It might be a 3 year commitment of boyfriend/girlfriend status, and it might be marriage. Regardless, this is the phase where there is absolutely no doubt you are monogamous with the person you call honey/baby/sweetie. No one is looking for something more- innocence is back, maturity has developed, and dare I say there is (gasp) trust.
Ne te quaesiveris extra.