social insanity.

Fun Fact: A third of all divorce filings in 2011 contained the word “Facebook,” according to Divorce Online. And more than 80 percent of U.S. divorce attorneys say social networking in divorce proceedings is on the rise, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. May 24, 2012

Here is a Forbes article linking Facebook to depression.

Don’t take social media so damn personally! Seriously.

I write this note with so many stories to back up my feelings on it, yet am a hypocrite, as I have been subject to falling for the craziness that sets in resulting from over sensitivity to social media interactions. I’ll admit it. (insert brave face) I’m not ashamed. Side note: totally ashamed to have acted as such. I vow moving forward not to just bitch and give advice, but to practice what I preach.

This morning I wrote up some advice for a friend and I felt I would share. I’m not saying I channeled Hesse, circa 1922 Siddhartha, but I felt inspired. 

Words of advice I learned along the way regarding social media:

  • If people are heated about a topic on a public forum (blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc), it’s probably best to keep your opinion to yourself- unless you are prepared for the heat to be directed at you.
  • If you don’t understand a conversation, stay out of it. Not your problem.
  • If the conversation is not directed at you, stay out of it.  Not your problem.
  • If something is posted on social media that you don’t agree with- ignore it. Not your problem. Do you really want the drama?
  • If you insert yourself into someone else’s conversation- you are actually making the reaction your problem. It is 100% your fault if someone doesn’t agree with your engagement. You should have stayed out of it in the first place. (All together now) It wasn’t your problem.
  • If you do commit to putting it out there for all the world to read, own it.
  • If someone unfriends you on social media, or blocks you from a group or discussion- they were not your friend to begin with and you shouldn’t let it bother you. Have you had lunch with this person? Would you invite them to your Christmas party? No. Then why are yo so upset? They are not as wonderful as you anyway. Move on.
  • Don’t humble brag; It’s REALLY annoying.

I support the friends, colleagues, family and business portion of social media; Sharing life’s happenings, new developments, homes, babies, break ups, work news, pets, relationship happiness and promotions for brands (obviously). I do not support the part that causes drama. Anymore.

For those of you who know me well, will smile at that last word. For those of you who don’t, probably are not meeting me for lunch anytime soon- and can consider themselves unfriended. Don’t take it personally, I know I won’t.  🙂

Keep it simple. I find that when life is boring, I smile a hell of a lot more. Try it. 

the fact this picture existed online when i searched "facebook depression" is just awesome. enjoy.
the fact this picture existed online when i searched “facebook depression” is just awesome. enjoy.

the year to date.

It’s been quite a busy year thus far- and it doesn’t show signs of slowing down any time soon.  I’m not complaining.  It’s been wonderful, but have you ever taken a step outside your self and realized you are spreading yourself too thin?  I did that just now.

i wish.
i wish.

 

 

So, if you have read any of my blog posts before this, you’ll know I am in a healthy adult relationship with an amazing man.  He works too much and too hard, but I have never respected someone for such an amazing work ethic- and that isn’t even his best quality.  What’s also great is he is actually doing what he says he is doing…which has caused me to TRUST someone for the first time (applause).  It’s fantastic and does wonders for your stress levels.

Relationship aside, I am in grad school for my masters.  This would be fine if it weren’t for the 3 hour class every Wednesday after a full day of working 72 miles from where I live.  I know that the end result will be worth it- but for now I am going to be a little grouchy at this self-inflicted commitment.

I am the marketing chair for Catapult Seacoast– a networking group for young professionals in NH/ME/MA.  This requires many emails, meetings and the added energy to get a bunch of people motivated.  I would be lying if I wasn’t honest with the fact that our events seem to be without purpose (aside from alcohol and networking banter), but the team is working hard to change this- and I am here for the ride- and leading my part best I can.  We’ll see.  I’m moderately hopeful.

My boyfriend’s son is a freshman at my alma mater, St. Thomas Aquinas.  It’s really cool because most of the teachers from my time are still teaching there- and I’m fortunate they remember me and my “one hit wonder” musical, Guys and Dolls (I played Adelaide).   It’s exciting to be an adult and get to mingle with people who probably put you in detention every single day of high school (hey, I cannot help it if they do not make skirts that go to my knees!  I am 5’9!).  However- I refuse to call Mr. Collins, Kevin, or Mr. Holtz, Ron.  Sorry, not going to happen. That being said, I have joined the “parent” committee!  I even made the Facebook page! So far, I helped plan a parent social and am currently on the board for the upcoming fashion show.  It’s exciting, but I would be lying if the looks I get when I walk into a meeting form the other “moms” didn’t bother me.  Hey- I may not be officially a mom, but this is my school…back off.  🙂  Besides, I am a VOLUNTEER!  The coordinator, Sarah, makes it fun to be a part of it all- she’s awesome.  I have got in the habit of calling her on my ride to work to vent.  Sometimes she does the same- so all in all a friendship was formed, which is nice.

alas, the one hit wonder- me.
alas, the one hit wonder- me.

The house we live in is a 250 year old colonial.  I will not tell you how much money we have spent on heating this house- and I will not tell you how many times the oil thingy (technical term) has broken, but as of last night it is fixed.  Sigh.  I hope it is fixed.  This house drives me nuts.  The warm water is so temperamental I have not successfully taken ONE bath since we moved in (MY FAVORITE THING), and if you use the water downstairs in the morning while someone is in the shower, the water immediately goes to downstairs and you’re left with ice.  The fireplace, while romantic and very aesthetically pleasing, only seems to heat 1′ of space in front of it.  So if you want to get warm while the oil thingy isn’t working- you have to sit your ass directly in front of the fire- causing you to smell exactly like you think you would smell sitting in a fire pit.  The pipes freeze and break.  The cabinets don’t close.  Not one window was properly installed, so there is a constant breeze.  There is a train.  OMG I can’t believe that isn’t the first thing I mentioned.  The train.  This train has a wonderful schedule that goes all night long.  It shakes the house so much that when we had a mild earthquake- it had nothing on the train.  Did I mention I am a light sleeper?  We are moving to a nice, big 3 BR house on April 1st in York, Maine.  Needless to say, April cannot come soon enough for us!

Of all the tasks my schedule is filled with, of all the commitments I say “yes” to on a daily basis- it’s the phone call I just received that makes it all seem like white noise.  Nothing could possibly bother me when I hear his voice.

In case your curious: I’m picking up vegetables on the way home for dinner- and he loves me.  🙂

fifty shades of intrigued.

I’m a romantic, a dreamer, idealist and apparently a pervert.

I get things in my head of how they should be- and I get utterly frustrated if they don’t turn out exactly as the script says in my head. I watch way too many movies- and whats worse: I have always been a sucker for a chick-flick or a chick-read. Something my best friend, Courtney, knows about me. From time to time she will suggest something for me to get my eyes on- and of course I blindly obey (as she has known me my whole life, I seldom argue when I know I will enjoy it). I always end up loving whatever it is. Darn you, Courtney.

some would say I'm mildly affectionate.

She use to work for Alloy Entertainment (years ago) and suggested I read this series “Gossip Girl.” I comply…and before I know it, it’s a series on the CW and I can’t have people call/FB/text/communicate with me on Mondays during the hour it is on. I have since been able to pry myself away from the show (there are just so many times you can listen to the annoying voice of Kristen Bell narrate the lives of over-privileged 17 year olds who have a better knowledge of scotch than some 60 year old men I know), but it took years and I have always blamed her for my obsession.

and they think Lindsay Lohan looks old for her age?

That should give you a little bit of back history- there are many other examples of books she has had me read in the past, but I felt only one story was necessary to get my point across: She knows my weaknesses too well. It’s not that I think she has a secret deal with Amazon to profit on the books she recommends- because most of the time she will actually send me the book after she has read it, but its scary to think someone knows you that well. That, or I am just easy.

It’s this depth of knowing me that put a mild fright into my subconscious when the most recent addition to my library was introduced. “You have to read Fifty Shades of Grey, you just have to. You’ll love it.” So I bought it…and it took me less than 2 days to finish a 512 page book. Truth is, I couldn’t put it down. I had not heard of it, but I guess it has been all over the news lately. “Mommy porn” is the most frequent terminology I have seen in my research, post read. Gee, thanks, Court.

you have no idea.

 

Holy hell is this book dirty. I felt like a pervert with every turn of the page. I felt even dirtier going into the Barnes and Noble and asking for the other two books in the series! It was worse than when I went to get the remaining Harry Potter books (another suggestion by my dear friend) and they sent me to the children’s department with a look of disappointment. I didn’t know they were kids books, guy! I did have a funny exchange while in the B&N this most recent time that I felt was worth sharing.

Setting: I see the one nerdy looking dude in the store who is away from everyone else. Surely I can ask him where the books are and he won’t judge me- and he will be quiet about it.

me: (as quiet as my voice can go) Hello…do you know where the Fifty Shades Trilogy books are kept?

B&N guy: (YELLING) Oh! We sold out out the Fifty Shades of Grey book and the other two are not out yet, but you can order them!

(thank you for your discretion…I am beat red)

“psssst….hey…” I see a goth B&N employee chick to the right signaling for me to go over to her. I’m intrigued.

me: “yes?”

B&N chick: Have you read the principals office yet?

me: UM NO! (at this point I feel like I am a first time attendee at a swinger function)

B&N chick: You should. It’s REAL good. Now, I can order those books for you…do you prefer a phone call or an email. (she then whispers) the phone call is quicker…

me: phone call please. (and I thank her and scurry out of there…the whole time the guy is smirking and she is giving me a “you’re dirty too HAHAHAHHAHA” glare)

Moral of experience: I shall now order things off Amazon and I really should not listen to Courtney anymore.

My friend Stacey just messaged me about it – and her quotes puts it so perfectly…(Sorry, Stacey, I had to…)

“Also feel a little strange going on vacation and holding (read: visible to people) this book on a beach… with my parents around, knowing that my mom started reding it on her Kindle because a friend of hers told her about it. I know like EVERY woman in the country is pretty much reading it… but still kinda weird to read in front of my family! But I don’t know how I can stay away from reading books 2 and 3 over vaca!!!”

But then she adds: “I’m super intrigued to see where this story goes.”

Apparently, there is a little pervert in all of us. 🙂 te he he…