better than redbull or coffee.

I am one of the unfortunate women in this world who has read the book “Skinny Bitch.” I say unfortunate because I was actually scared of food for a while after reading it. I still don’t eat red meat, regardless. I don’t know if you have read it, but if you like to actually eat, I suggest against it. It basically persuades you (through some decent evidence, mind you) to stay away from any meat, dairy product, alcohol (besides organic red wine), caffeinated drinks- Okay I am not writing the whole list; basically anything that isn’t veggies or water. HOWEVER- there were a couple sections I actually agreed with; not eating red meat (it doesn’t digest…like ever) and not drinking soda or coffee. Here is the excerpt: (It’s a little blunt and borderline vulgar, but I guess that’s how they talk to people. so bare with me)

“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee.” Uhm… pathetic! Coffee is for pussies. Think about how widely accepted it has become that people need coffee to wake up. You should not need anything to wake up. If you can’t wake up without it, it’s because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived, or a generally unhealthy slob. It may seem like the end of the world to give up your daily dose, especially if you rely on Starbucks as a good place to meet men. But it’s not heroin, girls, and you’ll learn to live without it. Caffeine can cause headaches, digestive problems, irritation of the stomach and bladder, peptic ulcers, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. It affects every organ system, from the nervous system to the skin.
But don’t go grabbing for the decaf. Coffee, whether regular or decaf is highly acidic. Acidic foods cause your body to produce fat cells, in order to keep the acid away from your organs. (Please, do not link this acid issue with citrus and other fruits. We discuss this in depth later.) So coffee equals fat cells. P.S. It also makes your breath smell like ass. …If you enjoy the occasional cup of coffee, fine. But if you need it, give it up.

OK, so I have found a solution (without being so mean about it)! RUNNING! Every time I muster up the energy to go for a 2-3 mile run in the morning, I have the utmost amount of energy afterwords. It’s quite amazing, actually. I walk in to the gym and my eyes still don’t quite work right, but when I leave, not only is my body 100% ready to rock the day, but my mind is as well. I think quicker and clearer EARLIER than I would if I don’t run.

Besides waking up and thinking clearer…I’m sure your legs (and butt) will thank you after a few weeks of this routine. I don’t think you could say the same for coffee.

 

Great day and learned something I wish I didn’t.

The boyfriend and I went apartment hunting yesterday. I have to say I think we struck gold. We found the most perfect 2BR 2BA condo, on a quiet street, in a great neighborhood. Exposed brick, new appliances, fresh paint and clean hardwood floors. The back door opens up to this court yard of back porches; clean, freshly finished wood and all private. I don’t think words can describe how excited we were to come across such real estate gold. In order to beat out the hippie couple and two young Asian girls, boyfriend and I RAN to a FedEx down the street to scan the applications and send them to the owner. We find out by Wed if we got it!

After this wonderous moment, we decided to go get something to eat. Muscles. OH MY GOD were they good. Regardless, that is not the point of my rambling this morning. Following great eats and some beers, boyfriend wanted to show me this little hole-in-the-wall pub, Parrots. We love hole-in-the-wall bars, but I personally don’t love how they all seem to have that same stale scent. Inside we had the usual clientelle: 2 normal young 30ish looking girls with a guy (returning from the beach), old woman bartender (quick tongue and bad haircut), old regular (who ended up engaging boyfriend in a round of Jacks), and then the one random kid at the end of the bar (not talking to anyone, and he was sipping either a bud light or a PBR).

This is the part of the day where I wish I was not so friendly all the time. I start talking to the gals/guy our age. I’m not very engaged in the conversation and my eyes keep wondering to boyfriend, who is chatting up the old man. I don’t know how it came about to me talking to the random kid at the end of the bar, but I did, and this was when I learned probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life; This kid was an advocate and practitioner of voluntary poverty. Are you kidding me? I was completely in shock. There are people in this country who VOLUNTARILY want to be homeless and without ANY means??? I probably was scaring the shit out of this kid with my line of questioning; Why on earth would you do that? Do you have any goals in life? You’re telling me that you have no ambition to make a life for yourself? You LIKE having no money? How the hell are you even in a bar right now?? Feeling guilty about my abrasive nature- I bought him a Sam Adams. Screw the PBR shit; we’re not in Georgia or Mississippi. I probably came off like an asshole, but I couldn’t help it- actually I think he was smiling at first, but I can put money on the fact no one had ever got him thinking like that before, as his smile faded and the pensive expression replaced it. He was doing it for some girl, I guess. Hell, I am all about doing things for the ones you love, but poverty? Forget about it. I woke up this morning and did a Google search “voluntary poverty” and the results opened up to a bunch of sites on “Simple living.” LAZY living more like it! Is that this kids excuse to not pay taxes? Great- thanks for letting me do the work for you.

Here is what Wikipedia had to say on the matter. (For the record, I still call bullshit):

Simple living encompasses a number of different voluntary practices to simplify one’s lifestyle. These may include reducing one’s possessions or increasing self-sufficiency, for example. Simple living may be characterized by individuals being satisfied with what they need rather than want. Although asceticism generally promotes living simply and refraining from luxury and indulgence, not all proponents of simple living are ascetics. Simple living is distinct from those living in forced poverty, as it is a voluntary lifestyle choice.

Adherents may choose simple living for a variety of personal reasons, such as spirituality, health, increase in ‘quality time’ for family and friends, reducing their personal ecological footprint, stress reduction, personal taste or frugality. Others cite socio-political goals aligned with the anti-consumerist movement, including conservation, degrowth, social justice, ethnic diversity and sustainable development.

Simple living can also be a reaction to materialism and conspicuous consumption. Thorstein Veblen had denounced the materialistic society in The Theory of the Leisure Class (1899); Richard Gregg coined the term “voluntary simplicity” as one path to simple living, in The Value of Voluntary Simplicity(1936); E. F. Schumacher argued against the notion that “bigger is better” in Small Is Beautiful(1973); and Duane Elgin carried on the promotion of the simple life in Voluntary Simplicity (1981).

I do remember him saying that he wanted to make a difference and felt the government would hear him if he denounced everything in his life and lived in poverty. I think he would have a better chance at being heard if he chained himself to a tree outside the White House- rather than living in poverty, in California, and not having the technology to tell anyone that he is doing so…he is hoping to be found and inspire someone. Well buddy, you inspired me…to get angry at your lack of American values and work ethic. Your lazy demenor and liberal thinking. I hope he doesn’t get that girl pregnant; words cannot describe how horrible that would be for that poor baby. He should not have been in a bar, in Chicago. Wouldn’t that be against his thinking? The girlfriend wasn’t around, she was in California, which also makes me think that this guy was not using his own brain in this decision. Grow a backbone and get out of my country. YOU are the polution MY tax dollars are supporting.

Damn hippies. They better not get my condo.

It’s been a while since we spoke.

I am not sure if anyone actually reads these silly posts of mine (besides my friends and mother), but I thought I would pop in for an update.

I’m finding that as I get older, I have started to lose touch with many of the friends I have made throughout the years. All of a sudden people are getting engaged, moving to completely random states, getting pregnant, switching careers, and other life occurrences, that unless you speak to a person weekly- you would miss all together. It makes me question if the friendship was ever really worth it- or if we have become so self involved, that we forget to reach out to people that care about us the most.

Why are some friendships so easy to forget?

spring cleaning sucks- when it’s 75 degrees and sunny outside.

Ok, so the boyfriend is off to the suburbs for the day, and I thought it a perfect idea to clean the apartment. A nice fresh overhaul. Have you done yours yet? I can organize things as I like, and worry about the details later. If you’d like a little background setting music: I have Toy Story 3 on in the livingroom.

I was told that my grandmother use to write an article in the newspaper about doing household things in incriments of 20 minutes. I don’t think I agree with that philosophy because if I actually stopped for a break, I wouldn’t start again. It would get me off schedule. This is a habit I picked up in sales school (Southwestern Company, Nashville, TN). Stay on schedule; get the job done and hit your goal. My grandmother was probably a lot more laid back and relaxing to be around. I have been told before that I am some people’s morning cup of coffee. Thanks?

On to the day: I decided to put up the golden shower curtain that was originally in the shower four years ago, when I moved in. I use to think it was too “adult” looking- and went with something more colorful from Target, now I am thinking it is perfect and actually makes the bathroom look a little fancy. Why not? Ok- I definitely didn’t get a manual on how to take down a shower rod. I tried google-“how to take down a shower rod”- SUCCESS! A little elbow grease and a screwdriver, and I am in business.

For furture reference: http://www.smalllinks.com/TG8

Ok, maybe I do wish boyfriend was home… I got it done, regardless. They don’t tell you how much arm strength you need to put up a shower curtain, but it’s a lot! It’s more endurance than anything, but I’m working with what I’ve got.

My poor golden retriever is staring at me. I should take her for a swim at the dog park when I am finished. Gosh, it’s gorgeous out. For now, I will the open balcony door and let her sun herself on the porch. Good parenting 101, check.

I have done 4 loads of laundry already. 10 minutes to go on the dryer. I figure it’s best to do all this at once, then I can feel a sence of accomplishment when boyfriend gets home. I was not lazy today! It’s so perfect outside. To use a variation of a quote Annette Bening uses in American Beauty, and to give you a hint of my level of determination to get this done: “I will clean this house today! I will clean this house today!” She didn’t sell the house, but I will clean mine!

I wish there wasn’t so much stuff in piles. My boyfriend and I are “pile builders.” There are certain types of cleaning habits. We like to organize things by putting them in piles, that of course we will attend to later to dispose of, and of course we do RARELY. Right now there is a pile of magazines in the bedroom that stare at me with anger. Why do we keep them? We will never read them again, and it’s not like we are writing a dissertation on the analysis of “Men’s Journal,” in relation to the depiction of cars vs. whiskey in American society. I say “lets toss ALL of them!” I dare not, until he comes home…

I’m starting to think I should have showered by now. Every time I go down to the laundry room, I see the same people I did this morning when I started…and they are all cleaned up and dressed for outside play. SOON! I just keep thinking to myself: I stay dirty because until my apartment is clean, I don’t deserve it. The shower will be the cherry on top of my sundae! It will be my pièce de résistance! These other people just don’t have the dedication I do!

I changed the curtains in the bedroom to something more “spring” feeling. I even managed to not break the swivel chair, as I stood on it to remove the old curtain. Sweet, going to the gym more frequently is paying off! It’s a little lighter- which I will only regret come 6am, as the sun is shining through, but for now it’s really pretty- and also gold.

Laundry is done. Sheets are changed. I’m obviously leaving out the details of scrubbing the sinks, bathtub, counters and toilet- no need, you knew I did that already. All that is left is a once over to make sure that the aparement LOOKS like I actually cleaned it. There is nothing worse than a morning of cleaning, then when you look back over and the only thing you notice are the new gold shower and bedroom curtains.

I’m sure this isn’t the sexiest of topics to blog about, but too bad. Ha. Maybe my ramblings will inspire you to accomplish something you’ve been putting off today. Now, off to the shower!

MAUI

When I was in high school, my boyfriend wasn’t the nicest of 17 year olds. He liked me sometimes, even showed it other times, and then he mostly treated me like I was lucky to be standing next to him. My mother called him moody; I just loved his blue eyes. I am a sucker for them, dang-it. I believe boyfriend and I had broken up, and I must have looked sad in class. ANYWAY, one day in my history class, Mr. Callahan pulled me aside and started telling me a story: “When my mom and dad were in college, every hockey season he would break up with my mom, so he could play and not worry about a relationship. And following every season, he would beg for her back. After a while, she would say no, play hard to get, etc (even though she was in love with him)- and they have been together ever since.” I didn’t understand why he was telling me this- until he explained MAUI. He said his mother taught him MAUI, as she used it on his father, and it worked like a charm every time. Use it wisely, for I’m giving you gold here.

Disclaimer: I do not, to date, believe I have ever been successful with this theory on my own personal relationships. I do know that every time I try to be callous- people think I’m playing hard to get, when really, I just don’t care. Regardless, they always try harder the more I push away, so there is something to this line of thinking. I think I’m too aggressive, blunt and impatient to wait for something I want. It’s only worked on me when I REALLY didn’t want the person in my life. SO in essence, I shot myself in the foot when I knew the outcome already. But if you are heartbroken- at a loss for how to get your crush on a date, give it a try…you never know.

Mysterious. If you are not forthcoming with information, people will want to know more about you. The opposite is also true.

Aloof. If you act distant, people will naturally be curious and want to get closer to you.

Uninterested. People always want what they can’t have…

Independent. Who doesn’t love someone who can stand on their own two feet? Who wants someone needy!?

Happy dating!

Pause.

Since I have been a blank slate lately…I decided to reflect today, and post some random thoughts. This will not make sense at all- but it’s better than nothing, and just maybe you will be thinking the same things!

1. I’m excited about the Royal wedding. I get so wrapped up in romantic comedies, that I forget romance and tradition still exist. I adore everything I have heard about both parties involved. I will be waking up at 3am to cry and cheer with London.

2. I am getting very tired of the cold weather in Chicago. What is even worse- is that we have been given like 3 days of nice weather to tease us. I even went outside this weekend for a long walk with my dog and boyfriend. Right as my spirits are lifted- its rainy and 40 degrees again. I’m starting to think it has something to do with God being upset at the political figures that keep coming out of this state.

3. I cannot stand people who are rude, mean, judgmental and braggy. Unfortunately I have too many people who fit all of these adjectives to comment on. Can they please just shut up and be normal?

4. Work has been amazing lately. I am very happy in my job- and actually get excited to get up in the morning. Have not felt this way since 2004. It’s nice to be back in this phase of my life. Smiling feels good. Meaning it feels so much better.

5. Gas is getting annoyingly high in price. I might start rollerblading to work, if the damn sun would come out.

6. Do people ever really take the time to consider other people’s feelings? I often wonder how I could make this a hot trend.

7. I hate when my friends are sad and/or hurting. I wish I didn’t live so far away all the time. I have a couple friends who have heartaches right now. Why is traveling so damn expensive?

8. I want to plan a trip with the boyfriend to someplace warm. I know he is dying to get in the sun- hmmm. Suggestions? I was thinking Puerto Rico.

9. Have you ever googled Jon Scheyer? There is a basketball player from Illinois who makes the most stupid face as he goes for a shot. Google it- you’ll laugh. Also- next time you are frustrated and cannot put it into words- just send a picture of the Scheyerface- and the recipient will understand.

John Scheyer
my thoughts exactly.

10. I’m sad Mad Men producers can’t get their act together and put the show back on TV. I loved that show. In a recent attempt to put a band-aid on our wounds from the loss of Mad Men, we started watching Dexter. If you have not seen this show- start from season 1. The writing is amazing. Although- I am “all set” with his sister on the show (ex wife in real life), Debra Morgan. She has a horrible potty-mouth and has the most vulgar way of being. She also needs to eat a steak. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve seen it- and if you take my advice and watch it.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. 🙂

Working out and getting older…

Disclosure: I understand that what I am about to rant about makes absolutely no sense at all. It’s just me.

I like to believe that my body chemistry is unlike anyone else in the entire planet. By believing this, I can avoid listening to stereotypical advice on what to eat and not to eat, how much you should work out, and how much sleep a person needs.

Food/Eating

I have the pickiest eating habits of anyone else I know. Sometimes food that made me sick a week ago will be fine today, if I am in the mood for it, but then sick again in a day because I said so- and it really will. Shrimp was my favorite food growing up, and since age 25 I have been allergic to it (hey, ask the doctors at Mass General, if you don’t believe me). I am lactose intolerant, but LOVE cheese (especially paired with wine). I get a stomach ache from almost every meal (from even a salad)- yet my cravings ONLY consist of chocolate, puffy Cheetos and chicken wings…that of course my body digests perfectly. I feel sorry for my boyfriend, who will have to preview a menu to make sure there is something on it I will digest. He even researches the places I go for client lunches and will text message me the menu item that won’t kill me. It’s actually very sweet. Funny thing is, on our first date, I assured him that I was easy going and not picky about food. I guess it had never been pointed out to me before, as I only ate what I wanted- and didn’t realize that consisted of a very limited range. Hey- I’ll eat sushi!

Working out

Working out to me has been this enigma that I have been trying to solve since college. I can’t quite figure it out. Did people in the 1960s (or earlier) work out? I watch the show Mad Men- and there is an episode where the newly divorced woman in the neighborhood is seen “walking.” GASP! “Where is she walking to???” The other women cry. Her response- “I just like to walk.” The only other exercise I have seen on that show was of course the young school teacher, aka, Don Draper’s latest victim, running at 4am. So only young school teacher-types and divorced women work out, while the “normal” women smoke and drink red wine 24/7? YET…They are ALL thin and gorgeous. (Please note- I realize I am arguing with a television show, but if you look at pictures from that time- the women really were perfect looking!) I won’t argue much past the 1960s. I think we all know that the 1970s brought the leotard to us, for the purpose of exercise class. I’m just saying- there WAS a time when we didn’t need to think about all this so darn much. Red wine solved it all.

In college, I worked out so much that if my friends and I were getting ready to go out, and I felt kinda “fat,” I would go run a mile or two then continue the beautifying process. I tried diet pills- that only made me seem to be on speed 24/7. Lost a couple dates that way (I guess you’re supposed to let the other person talk too), yet never really got thin, until I STOPPED taking them. Strange.

Now that I am in my 30s, working out is like this chore I know I have to do, yet stall until it hits me like a deadline that it must be done. Other days, I crave to be on that treadmill. Neither situation would be possible without the use of my boyfriend’s extra Apple headphones (I plug them into those beautiful little TVs installed on top of the machines). At first, I could “borrow” them, but now they have slowly become my property and just as important for me to wear to the gym as my sneakers or sports bra. I also have the belief that if I work out 1 week prior to a special event or trip, that my body will be drastically better than it was the day I started. If a special event or trip is coming up, all of a sudden I LOVE working out and couldn’t image never loving this activity. When said event is over…give me my couch/remote back.

Sleep

I will never understand how one sleeps through an entire evening, without waking up. I have tried everything from counting sheep, melatonin to benedryl- nothing works. I will say, at the suggestion of a colleague, I bought some vitamin B1 and (when I remember) it works like a charm to ease my mind and let me sleep, at least until 3am. I can fall asleep in a car in about 2 minutes, or when laying on something warm. Once awake, I can never figure out how to stay up without being exhausted. Caffeine makes me tired and coffee gives me a headache. If someone puts a movie on, 10 minutes (sometimes less) into it, I am sound asleep. When it ends- like the second it is over-I am wide awake. I will say this- there is nothing more victorious than when, from the hours of tossing and turning, you find that perfect sweet-spot and your eyes finally close.

I think I need a vacation. 🙂

 

Starting on the right foot…hello world.

This quote pretty much describes my view on life:

When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either. -Leo Burnett.

Leo Burnett started off with criticism, both from the NY market and the Chicago media. A journalist stated he would fail miserably, and end up selling apples on the street. His ambition fought back, and soon he was laughing at the world- giving away those apples for free.

I have never understood the perma-waitress or clerk, who stays in the small town and accepts the hand dealt to her, without complaint. I supposed it would make up for a less stressful life, but what fun is life without challenges? I’m not knocking the service industry. In fact, I admire one who takes pride in their work. I’m more or less questioning the lack of wanting something more. Shouldn’t we all want more? If you want to make yourself a better person, I certainly don’t think that would classify as greed. Ambition, to me, is the sexiest attribute in a person.

As I sat in my car the other day, singing at the top of my lungs to my Taylor Swift CD, I couldn’t help but start to analyze the life choices I have made up until now. I guess it’s normal to judge yourself- mildly. I can’t help but be a little confused as to whether I am truly happy, or if I am faking it in order to deal with some things I seem to have missed out on. I have always felt a little different, but never like this… I am speaking of course about the fact that MOST of my friends are now married, engaged, pregnant, or new mothers. Shouldn’t I want that at 33? Could ambition come in different forms? I think the engaged/married part would be really fun- but I couldn’t even conceive the notion that I am ready to be fully responsible for someone (meaning a baby) other than my golden retriever. Does that make me a selfish person?

Does a career count as something to cherish? I have always certainly thought so.

Frustrated and happy. Is that possible?